Week 2 - Why do I sabotage myself?!!

I am currently on day...let's see...oh, right. I'm on day 17 - I should only have 4 more days, however, I tend to sabotage myself during week 2 or 3, and last week was no exception. I lost 15 pounds in the first week, and the second week, I gained and lost, gained and lost, and finally, gained. I managed to only lose 2 more pounds all last week, due to my cheating and falling off the wagon. Fortunately, this diet is rewarding enough that if I behave myself for just one day, I can lose 2 or 3 pounds. But at the same time, I can gain 3 or 4 by just eating a bowl of soup and a piece of bread!!

So I decided that I would give myself an extra week or so to hit my goal of 225. I'm only about 12 pounds away from this goal, so I really want to get there even if it takes an extra week. I will go until next week and see how this works. It would be miraculous if I could lose 3 pounds every day for the next 4 days, but I'm just trying to keep my head above water at this point.

I was cooking dinner while my little man was sitting in his highchair eating, and I couldn't help but want so much for him to just be a healthy kiddo - not fat, not too thin, and most importantly, I want him to have good eating habits. He doesn't really care for juice and he loves water, so I feel like we're off to a good start. But I also want to be around to teach him other things, and then be around to see him grow into the little man he is already becoming!

I am so ready to slip into the size 12 jeans I have hanging in my closet, just sitting there and enticing me every single day! I have already gone from a 24 down to a 16/18, depending on the style of pants, but I just can't seem to push past that 235 mark. I desperately need to get down another 20 pounds just so I can start training for some kind of fitness goal. I need to pick a race, or triathlon, to train for and then get started. I need to lose enough weight to feel comfortable training for the goal. I would be far more motivated if I could shed a little more weight.

As far as I have to go, about 100 more pounds to go, I need to remember how far I've come. I have come from eating nearly 3000 calories a day without even breaking a sweat, to eating just enough to survive. I've gone from eating a whole bag of chips when I come home from work, to drinking a big glass of water before I start dinner so I don't pick at it and eat too much. I've become more creative in my cooking, and I've tried new things that I never thought I would like. I've learned that I don't have to drown everything in butter or salt just to make it edible.

I've come further than I know, and I just need to be proud of myself. I'll get there - one of these days! Until then, I'll continue on this journey for now, slightly less fat than the last post!

New Year, New HCG round...

So with the holidays now over, thank goodness, I am exhausted and in need of some serious R&R. However, what better time to start out a new round of HCG? I figured that I seriously need a reboot after all the junk I ate for 6 weeks between Thanksgiving and New Year's Eve.

I started this round on Thursday; the first 2 days eating what you can that has a high fat content to keep from getting headaches and feeling nauseous on the first day of 500 calories. I have to admit I felt a little sick after 2 days of eating junk and fat! But today is my first day of the 500 calories and I don't feel all that great. It could have something to do with the fact that I was up til 3am this morning and had a few drinks last night. I must admit, I have a horrible headache today. I think the lack of sleep has really contributed, but I'm making it through.

I have started this round at 245 pounds. I gained about 3-4 pounds between October and December, and never made it to the half marathon after Phil lost his job. So now I will do this round and then train for a triathlon in mid-April. It's a 500 yard swim, 11 mile bike, and a 5k run. It sounds easier than running 13.2 miles, however, have you ever tried to swim a half a mile?! Crazy. It's like 20 laps or so in a pool. I can barely run a mile so this is going to take some serious effort.

My goal is to lose 25 pounds - this would put me at the smallest I've ever been as an adult. I've never been under 220. I remember running at that weight and I felt like I could go forever. Everything was easier. I could shop most anywhere and all my clothes looked really nice. I miss that feeling.

I also have never been an athlete but I enjoy running and working out. I like being active and feeling fit and strong. I'm so young and I have so much life left that I don't want to spend it miserable or unhealthy. So here's to a new year and to a new life.